


In Another Time

by Ndeplume



Series: Across the Universe(s) [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28842111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ndeplume/pseuds/Ndeplume
Summary: As the cave collapsed, Yusuf remembered thinking to himself that he had forgotten to tell Nicky where he was going. Of course, it would have been difficult to explain. After all, a strange dream about his husband, an image of a cave seared into his mind, the words of a faceless woman telling him to wake up and go, those were all upsetting things to think about. Yusuf knew they fit together but whenever he tried to explain how, he lost the plot. Rather than try to explain, he told Nicky he was going hiking and that he would be home in a few hours.That had been his first mistake.The last thing he expected was to wake up in the early 20th century in a place he'd never been, in a timeline that wasn't his own.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Across the Universe(s) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185038
Comments: 22
Kudos: 131





	1. The Cave

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from Good0mens incredible fic called "Beyond Measure and Reason" which you should absolutely read because it's phenomenal!  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791923/chapters/68037625) 
> 
> Also, don't expect historical accuracy or any amount of research here, folks. This is just for fun and also it's a story about immortals so it's not very tied to reality as it is.

As the cave collapsed, Yusuf remembered thinking to himself that he had forgotten to tell Nicky where he was going. Of course, it would have been difficult to explain. After all, a strange dream about his husband, an image of a cave seared into his mind, the words of a faceless woman telling him to wake up and go, those were all upsetting things to think about. Yusuf knew they fit together but whenever he tried to explain how, he lost the plot. Rather than try to explain, he told Nicky he was going hiking and that he would be home in a few hours. 

That had been his first mistake. 

His second mistake had been trying to jump out of the cave as the mouth closed off. Had he hugged the wall and moved back, he may have survived the cave-in. His intense (and well-reasoned) fear of being trapped had won out over his logic and Joe dove for the entrance of the cave. Being crushed to death was one of his least favourite ways to die. 

Yusuf had expected, then, to wake up in the dark. He expected the feeling of bones knitting back together, the stomach turning sound of joints popping back into place and the fading headache of a terrible concussion rapidly healing. Instead, he woke up to the sound of music playing in anothe room. An old song played from an old radio.Tinny, canned voices singing alongside a jazz band. Warmth enveloped him and the smell of clean sheets invited him to stay in bed longer, to wile away the hours dozing and doodling. Yusuf would have loved to bury back into the sheets and do just that, were it not for the sheer confusion that overwhelmed him. He wasn’t waking up from a bad dream, he knew that with utter certainty. The feeling was as if he’d walked through the door to the kitchen and found himself on the face of the moon instead. 

Joe slowly sat up and instinctively reached towards the side of the bed Nicky normally occupied, only to find it cold. “Nico?” He asked, looking around the room. He didn’t recognize it. The wall was brick, the floorboards creaked as Joe put his feet down on them. He hissed the moment his feet touched the floor. They were wrapped in bandages so thick that it looked like he was wearing stockings but even stil, the pain from the movement was excruciating. The edges of Joe’s vision went black and before he knew it, there was somebody at his side, stroking his back and kissing his hair. 

“Careful, pumpkin. The doctor said you need a few more days.” Came a familiar voice. Quynh had returned to them a few months ago and Joe had spent many hours with her since, but this was the first time he had heard her voice so tender and full of love, without a hint of anger or terror or panic or sadness underlying it. He turned his head to look up at her, blinking hard in his confusion. Looking at her hurt. Moving his head made him feel sick. She frowned and leaned over his shoulder to fiddle with something and moments later, the room darkened. She had tugged a sheet over the window. Joe opened his mouth to ask what was going on when Quynh spoke before he could get to it. 

“I know. The light’s not helpful right now, but we needed it earlier to help Nicolas out of bed. He needed fresh air. He’s okay, in case you were wondering. He and Nile are on the porch. He’s healing up just fine. He’s been fawning over you.” Quynh fondly remarked. 

Dread settled in Joe’s stomach. Healing? They were both healing, not healed. He looked down at his feet again. Had the cave in...was he mortal? Had he been dragged out of the cave, still crushed, but somehow alive and mortal? 

“Cave?” Came Quynh’s voice, fonder than Joe remembered. Apparently he’d been mumbling his thoughts out loud. “No cave, Joe-Joe. Just trenches. You and Nicky were in them for far too long while you held the base. The doctor said you might need help remembering when you first woke up. A piece of cannon shot hit your head.” She explained, not that her explanation cleared anything up. Quynh continued without pause. “And as much as I’m sure you feel like a god with that stupid stunt you pulled in combat, you are mortal. Which is why you’re strictly on bedrest for now. So lie down.” She finished with a sharp command to which Joe was too confused to disobey. Even if he had wanted to, the mere act of sitting up had apparently taken so much energy that he couldn’t do anything but lie back down. Joe’s stomach was in knots and he was clearly distraught. How could she say that with such ease? How could she simply pass by the fact that he was mortal now? 

Unfortunately, Joe didn’t have the chance to ask. As Quynh gently helped him pull his legs back up onto the bed, unconsciousness won out and sank its claws into the injured man once more.


	2. Russia

This time, it wasn’t warmth that Joe noticed when he woke. Rather, it was the violent shaking of a freezing cold body in his arms and the quiet voice that Joe would know anywhere. 

“I’m surprised you managed to fall asleep with how hard he's shaking, Tesoro.” Came Nicky’s teasing tone. Joe opened his eyes and looked around to see a blazing fireplace, old wooden walls illuminated by its crackling. This was not the place he’d been in when he woken up the last time, but Joe recognized it all the same. He’d been here before long ago. And that meant...Joe looked to the figure in his arms, pressed against his chest. Sure enough, it was Sebastien. 

The poor man’s nude body was violently shaking. Joe wore only the pants of his underclothes and both men were covered in a blanket. Underneath his hands, Joe could feel Booker’s ribs and hollow stomach. His hair was longer than the frenchman liked to wear it and it was slightly damp on the side which rested against the bedroll on top of which the pair lay. Joe had been here before. This was the place they had taken Booker when they’d found him for the first time. Joe remembered the tiny hunting cabin. He remembered holding Booker as he unfroze and his body warmed up. He remembered Nicky making a stew from some vegetables and salted meat they’d found in the cellar to help him regain energy. What didn’t make sense was how he was here. 

“Joe?” Nicky asked, a firm hand resting on his shoulder. Joe jumped and looked up into Nicky’s tired but concerned eyes. He sat up, gently tugging Booker against himself so he could keep warming the man up. It also helped to hold something while he was confused like this. 

“Nicky...I-I think I’m dreaming.” He stammered. This didn’t feel like a dream but there was no other sensible explanation. “I’ve been here before. We already...this already happened.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes and looking around again. For a moment, Nicky looked like he was about to say something.

“Merde.” Booker swore as a hard shiver rocked his body and his legs tensed up, the sudden movement interrupting the both of them. Nicky sprang into action. He got water from the pot over the stove and helped Booker drink, massaging his legs afterwards to help with the cramping. 

“Yusuf, keep him covered.” Nicky’s firm command had Joe moving before he could think about it. He moved to cover Booker from head to toe with the blanket which had slipped off when they’d readjusted. The sense of deja-vu was overwhelming. The corners of Joe’s eyes crinkled as he stared at Nicky in confusion. His husband, ever the supportive partner, locked eyes with Joe as they managed to help Booker calm down. The worry still lurked behind the encouraging smile that Nicky wore. 

“You’re just tired, tesoro.” He promised. “You hit your head on the ice when we were fighting through the snow to get here, so you’re just confused.” He comforted, not that it did much good. Joe shook his head, frowning. 

“I don’t...no, Nicky, that’s not..it’s not that. I was...this happened already. This happened a long time ago. Booker, he leaves.” Joe protested, looking down at the haggard man in his arms. Nicky simply shook his head, reaching out to squeeze Joe’s arm. He looked confused. After all, to him, the nicknames were new. 

“Calm down, Joe. Just keep Sebastien warm, can you do that for me? Just focus on that right now. You’re going to be okay and so is he, you just need to breathe. You are here right now. You’re here with me, Andrea’s covering our tracks, we’ll be okay.” 

The gentle encouragement was enough to calm Joe down for now. Nicky was right. He was here now and whether this was real or not, panicking wouldn’t solve anything. As confused as he was, clearly he wasn’t simply dreaming. Joe could feel the dull headache that was the result of slipping and hitting the ice while carrying Booker into the hut. He remembered that, he knew he’d been out of it for the first day they’d had their newest brother in arms. Whatever was going on, the fact remained that Joe was here now. All he could do was try to think about what was happening, try to figure out what was going on.


	3. Russia

By the time Andy arrived, nearly an hour had passed. Joe had calmed down and Booker was fast asleep. Thanks in large part to Nicky’s ministrations and Joe’s body heat, the starving frenchman was much warmer. The confusion remained as Joe had yet to figure out what was happening but he was starting to think that he wouldn’t. As Andy warmed herself up by the fire, Joe turned to his family for help. He explained his thoughts and experiences out loud.

Nicky, for his part, had simply sat nearby and listened to Joe speak about what was happening. Joe explained to his husband how he had been having these recurring dreams about a cave. A woman’s voice spoke to him in his mother tongue and told him to find it. On a whim, he had left and sure enough, barely two hours later, had found the cave. Naturally, Joe had gone in. Then the cave collapsed and he’d woken up in a bed in a room with Quynh. Saying her name elicited a pained reaction from his husband. They had given up searching for her to find Booker, after all. Joe had forgotten how fresh that wound still was. Nicky encouraged him to keep speaking though, so he finished by explaining that he’d been hurt and in pain and passed out and woke up here. 

“And your current theory is...time streams?” Nicolas, for that was the name he currently went by, asked when Joe finished. There was something that was bugging Joe about his husband but he couldn’t place it. 

“I don’t know what my current theory is.” 

“The way you talk about it sounds like you think it’s different places in time. But you said that you had never been to that place before this. But you have been here before?” Nicolas puzzled, confused and concerned. Joe groaned as his husband spelled out the absurdities he had just explained. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe after centuries his mind had finally snapped. Maybe the cave in had killed him and this series of confusing events was his life flashing before his eyes. “An interesting theory”, Nicolas mused. Of course he was taking this seriously. Joe was yet again reminded of his husband’s infinite patience and love even when Joe was sitting here spouting absolute nonsense. 

So far, Andromache had not said a word or moved a muscle. She watched Joe with interest from her place curled up by the fire, her braided hair hanging over her shoulder. It had been a long time since she’d kept her hair long. 

“Nothing is making sense.” He sighed heavily. “Boss?” His hair shifted at his neck as he turned to her. He hadn’t realized it was so long. Joe needed her opinion. He had always relied on Andy to help him understand. What surprised him was that Nicolas was the one who answered, stating that he wasn’t sure what to think. Joe frowned and looked over at his husband. Suddenly, he realized what was different about him. Nicolas’ eyes were much older than his Nicky’s. The green, still as striking and comforting, held a certain maturity and sorrow that Joe had never seen reflected before. Not from his Nicky, anyways. 

“Has this ever happened before, Nico?” Andy asked from her place in front of the fire. Joe’s head whipped around to look at her and he realized that she was young. Younger than he’d ever known her. The realization was startling and Joe immediately wondered when this Nicky and this Andy were born, when he had been born, what the world here was like. Were he and Nicolas even married here? Joe frantically looked at his finger. Bare. His eyes widened and he looked back at his husband in concern. Apparently they were still on the same wavelength, though, because Nicolas reached over beside the fire and picked up the beautiful but simple band, passing it to Joe. 

“It was too cold to keep on you. And you were warming him, so I took it off.” Nicolas explained calmly, nodding to Sebastien. “You are confused, you hit your head, you need rest, tesoro. Please. Sleep. In the morning we can talk more about this if you still feel the same way.” Nicolas decided. His tone made it clear that there was nothing more to discuss. At a loss for what to say, the crusader reluctantly agreed. His headache was returning and it was getting harder to keep himself seated upright. 

Joe lay down on the bedroll and curled around Sebastien’s body once more. Booker needed the warmth just as much as he needed the comfort. Thankfully, Nicolas seemed to understand and he moved behind his husband, arms wrapped around Joe’s midsection and chest. Yusuf knew with certainty now that this wasn’t his Nicky.


	4. The Meadow

The first thing that Yusuf noticed as he awoke this time was the distinct lack of pain. Finally, he thought. At least wherever he was now wasn’t painful, at least not presently. He wasn’t holding anybody or in anybody’s arms, though he was still laying on something hard. Slowly, Joe creaked an eye open. Yet again he was horizontal on a wooden floor, face pressed against a sheet that provided some sort of insulation from the ground. Further inspection proved the sheet to be a sleeping bag (and a very warm one at that). A breeze passed overhead and he heard leaves rustling nearby. As Joe sat up and undid the zipper of the bright yellow sleeping bag, he tried to piece together where he might be. 

Yusuf realized first that he was alone. There was no sign of anybody else around for miles, which he knew because he was lying on the foundation of a building which did not have any walls and he could see for miles. The part-building was located on a mountainside meadow. There were no words to describe the beauty that lay around him. Green fields mixed with golden yellow long grass lay ahead of him, leading down towards the drop off of a cliff. There were purple, red, and blue mountain flowers throughout the meadow. Behind him and to the side were pine and birch trees. There was a stream or a waterfall nearby, which Joe knew only because he could hear the faint sound of rushing water. 

The artist in him ached to draw. Thankfully, whichever version of himself he’d ended up in this time was well-prepared for such an eventuality. Joe found a sketchbook sitting in a large and well-used backpack which was hanging from a tall post next to the foundation of the building. Flipping through it, he came across portraits of Nicky. Who else? The first ones were best, most accurate. They got the glimmer in his eyes just right, the lines were smooth and solid, performed by a master artist who knew every single curve of his muse’s features down to the millimeter. Yusuf’s heart warmed as he saw his husband in such immaculate detail, so happy, so carefree. 

As he flipped through the pages, he noticed Nile, Andy, Booker, Quynh, and another whose features he didn’t recognize at all. After a moment’s puzzling, he put together that this mystery figure must have been Lykon. He appeared in a few pieces, his smile lighthearted and teasing. Andy seemed happier in these drawings too. Booker seemed more miserable, somehow. 

Nicky disappeared from the group photos shortly before Nile appeared. There were a few portraits of him in between the final complete group photo and the first portrait of Nile. The quality of these later portraits was lesser than the earlier ones. Those tiny details that Joe had spent hours working on were gone. The eyes were ever so slightly off. The curve of his lips was just a little bit too perfect. The way his jaw connected to his neck had an angle that was a few degrees too sharp. 

Joe’s heart sank as Nicky faded. The final portrait was wrong. It was somebody who looked like Joe’s husband but whose nose was curved differently, whose mole was in the wrong place, whose eyes were too cold and impersonal. The lines were less certain, shorter, there were more eraser marks. 

Joe nearly vomited when he realized that these portraits were made by a man who was forgetting what his husband looked like.

The rage and terror and anguish that followed were like nothing he’d ever experienced. 

Hours later, his body and mind exhausted, Yusuf felt like he could breathe again. He picked up the sketchbook and moved to a new blank page. His hand moved the pencil with a deliberate and masterful ease. After half an hour, the page held a full-body drawing of Nicky in his combat outfit, holding his sword, smiling easily. Joe drew a close up on Nicky’s face on the top of a second page and finished with a quick, small sketch of the family. He didn’t add the one he didn’t recognize, he knew he’d get Lykon wrong and the Joe from this world could finish the job up himself. 

Feeling better now, Joe stood up and looked around the beautiful meadow and out to the valley below. He really was the only person for miles. From the looks of the boots sitting nearby, he had spent a while hiking up here. Clearly, this Joe’s intention was to build a cabin up here and to stay for a while. As he wandered around the meadow, he saw an axe and a saw as well as a few recently felled trees sitting out to dry in the sun. There was a stump near a firepit and a small metal pot sitting nearby. So he was here for the long haul. Joe looked around a bit more and found two things that intrigued him. The first was an unfamiliar piece of technology that he figured may have been a phone. He didn’t bother trying to turn it on. The second discovery was much more interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe one day i'll try to write an emotional scene but until then we have a good old-fashioned 'fadeaway to black and return hours later'


	5. The Journal

Joe sat on the stump near the fire and opened the rather large journal he’d found in this Joe’s bag. It was beautiful and brand new, hardly used. There were a few sketches on the first few pages but the journal entries started shortly after. Apparently this Joe had found it useful to document whatever he was doing right now. He opened it up in his lap and began to read. 

\----------------

May 9, 2134

He would be proud of me. I left today. I sold our house in Malta to those developers, I had Booker put the money somewhere safe for me and Nile helped me with the supplies I needed for this trip. It was nice to talk to them after so long. Leaving was hard but everyone showed up to help me sell our things and move out. Andy and Quynh took the table I made for him back with them to their place to keep safe for now. Booker took seeds from his garden and some of his books. Nile took his record player. Lykon took a few pieces of his clothing that I wanted to keep safe. 

They all offered to go with me on this trip but I turned them down. They’re afraid I’ll give up again. I’m afraid I’ll give up again too. But I’m not going to get anywhere unless I do it on my own so here I am. At least it’s nice. The snow’s mostly gone from the mountains and I should have enough time to get a roof up before winter comes again once I find a spot to settle down. 

May 13, 2134

I found the place. I see it from my campsite, it’s a meadow on the side of a mountain. I’m alone here. There’s a town about a day’s hike west along the river and nobody owns this land. The trees are solid and there’s freshwater up there. I’ll start climbing early tomorrow morning and make sure I’m right, but I think this is the place. 

May 15, 2134

He would have loved it here. I think he’s with me now and he’s happy. It’s a good place to stay. Winter will be harsh but the cliff face can help keep the wind away and the trail back to town isn’t too steep. 

May 18 2134

Got the foundation laid today. Cried a lot. Cut down some trees. It’s easier to get over the sad days when there’s so much to do. 

May 21, 2134

Fell off the cliff last night. Had a nightmare about my last day with him and needed to go for a walk when I woke up. I wasn’t watching where I was going and I fell off the side of the mountain. So. Guess I should put up rails or something, since climbing back up here takes six hours. I’ll do that tomorrow, for now I’m going to sleep. 

\----------------

Joe wiped a few tears away as he looked out at the valley below. He was so grateful this wasn’t his life, that he was simply visiting in the life of somebody else. His yearning to see his husband was stronger than ever, but besides that, he felt strangely calm. He didn’t feel the urgency to understand what was going on. Instead, he picked up the pencil he’d used to draw and began to write on the next journal entry space. 

Dear Yusuf, 

I cannot begin to explain what is happening because I don’t know, but I woke up today in your body. Perhaps you’re crazy, maybe I’m crazy, but I’m here. Visiting, I think. I’m from another world, maybe another universe or another timeline, I’m not sure. In my timeline, Lykon died a very long time ago. I never met him. Quynh is missing. Nicky is alive. I drew him for you. I hope it helps and I’m sorry if it doesn’t. It helped me to see Quynh in your drawings and I was glad to see what Lykon looked like. I heard very little about him from Andy.

This is my third destination. I was caught in a cave-in and must have been knocked unconscious, then I awoke in a bed in a place with which I was unfamiliar. Everything hurt and I passed out soon after. My second destination was our first meeting with Booker just after we found the hunting cabin. I woke up while I was trying to warm him up. I think Nicky is older in that timeline. I’m not sure if I was too. Quynh wasn’t there either, neither was Lykon. I fell asleep and woke up here. 

I’m going to fall asleep again. I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back or if this is real but writing has helped. I hope you are happy, Nicolo would want you to be happy. He would want you to move on, to do good for yourself and others, to find peace before you joined him. I couldn’t help but read your earlier entries and for what my thoughts are worth, I think you’re right. I feel him here. Only a place this beautiful could hold our Nicky and he would never pass on without you, not really. Part of him is here with you and I hope you carry on. 

Joe


	6. London

Joe was relieved to wake up again in yet another place. Even better, he woke next to Nicky. A huge smile appeared on Joe’s face as he cuddled closer to his husband, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. Whatever this timeline was, he could handle it. Joe had decided after writing the journal entry in the meadow that he could ride out whatever was happening because when it ended, he’d be with Nicky. The possibility that this was unending was unthinkable, at least until he had a better handle on his situation. For now, he needed to cope. Thankfully, cuddling with Nicky was his primary coping mechanism. The sheets were soft and warm, the mattress was just a little bit too hard but in a way Joe knew Nicky liked. The apartment was dark but Joe liked what he could see. A picture in a frame beside the bed, a mug of cold tea that smelled like chamomile and vanilla, a desk with books stacked on top of it near the door.

Movement attracted Joe’s gaze to the top of a wooden dresser. A pair of eyes watched Joe and a fluffy tail swished back and forth, dangling off the side of the furniture. So they had a cat, it seemed. A big one too. Joe’s smile widened as he remembered with fondness Nicky’s affinity for felines. He chuckled to himself and settled his gaze on the back of his husband’s head, content to lie here for a while. He didn’t want to fall asleep though, this was the best timeline he’d visited and he wanted to stay while he could. Joe felt himself drifting off so he sat up in bed, careful not to wake Nicky as he extricated himself from their cuddling. 

Joe swung his legs out of bed and got up, only to promptly fall to the floor. So much for not waking up his husband. Nicky was at his side in seconds. Joe felt his warm arms and heard his sleep muddled voice asking if he was okay, if he’d had a nightmare, if he needed anything. He mentioned painkillers, which was confusing. Or rather, it was confusing until Joe noticed the reason he’d fallen. His left leg was gone from the mid-thigh down and the end of his thigh was wrapped in a thick, sock-like bandage. 

Nicky must have noticed how intensely Joe was staring. He felt his partner’s strong arms wrapping around his chest and lifting him up to sit on the edge of the bed. Once he was settled, Nicky knelt between his legs, meeting Joe’s gaze. His familiar features, so incredibly comforting to see after his previous visit to the meadow, warmed Yusuf’s soul and he couldn’t resist smiling back. In this world, he had one leg but he also had his Nicky. This was still the best visit so far. 

“I’m okay.” Joe promised, his hand gravitating towards Nicky’s cheek. He didn’t want to worry this Nicky. He’d be gone soon enough and the Joe whose body he was stealing would be back. He would still enjoy the moment, though, despite the shock of realizing his amputation. It must have been fairly recent too, which meant he was mortal here. He saw a faint scar on Nicky’s cheek, which meant he was mortal too. There was something oddly comforting about that thought. 

Nicky leaned up and kissed him, pulling him out of his head. “I’m glad. Did you forget again?” he asked fondly to which Joe nodded sheepishly. Nicky smiled, standing up. A dog’s head appeared beside him and Joe found his hand automatically travelling to the soft fur, as if acting on a muscle memory that this body still held even if Joe himself wasn’t aware of it. The golden retriever sat down and put its head on his knee, staring up at him with big eyes. Joe met the dog’s gaze for a moment as he continued carding his fingers through the feather soft fur, then he looked up at his husband who had turned the bedside light on.

“Sorry I woke you up.” he said, taking in Nicky’s appearance. He looked good. Strong, healthy, larger than he normally was. Joe was delighted by this fact since it meant he was eating well and resting enough. Whoever they were here, they were safe. As Nicky promised it was alright, Joe glanced to the bedside table. According to the portrait sitting on top of it, Joe was in the military. That explained the leg, at least partially. Nicky caught him staring at the photo and laughed, pulling Joe’s attention back to him. 

“I know, I promised I’d take it down when you got back from the hospital but it’s been a busy week. All that dog training, all those appointments, all the time spent in bed with you, I simply haven’t had time. I’ll move it today.” Nicky promised, his voice light and full of love. Joe was thrilled that his accent was still just as strong. The simple moment made Joe’s heart expand three sizes and he wrapped his arms around Nicky’s shoulders, unable to stop himself any more. 

Nicky returned the hug with just as much love and desperation. He whispered “I know” into Joe’s ear and rubbed his back. “You’re home now. Safe and sound. Sebastien and Nile too. You’re all okay. Today we get to go see Sebastien, remember?” Nicky asked, pulling back from the hug just enough to be able to meet Joe’s eyes. He had a few unshed tears and seemed surprised that Joe wasn’t emotional. “Everything okay, sweetheart?” He asked, his tone taking on a concerned note. 

Joe met Nicky’s eyes and leaned in to kiss him properly. “Yeah. Everything’s okay.” He replied. And it was, for now. That was all Joe could hold onto and he intended to grasp at it until his fingers were white-knuckled and bleeding. For now, everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today I had a lot of work to do so obviously I wrote like 5000 words of whatever this story is instead. I'll update it as i finish chapters. I have never proof read a thing in my life and don't intend to start now. Hope you enjoy!


	7. London

Joe didn’t let himself go back to sleep after waking up with Nicky. He wasn’t about to squander an opportunity to see what his and Nicky’s life could have been like if they were a normal, 21st century couple. It had been nearly 4 am when he’d woken so Nicky went back to sleep and Joe snooped. He felt bad, but only a little. It might not have been his life but the lines were blurry and Nicky was sleeping, so he tried to figure out how to put the prosthetic on. It was harder than he thought to walk with it and it made too much noise so he found crutches nearby and used those to wander around the apartment. 

Nicky was in medical school, Joe discovered with pride. He had spent some time in Italy while Joe was deployed but their relationship was a long one. He found a card in the kitchen that he’d written to Nicky on their tenth anniversary. On his finger was a beautiful engagement band and there was a photo from their engagement above the kitchen table. The Joe in the photo had both his legs. Based on the information he could find about the deployment, Yusuf figured that the engagement must have been during the last time he’d come home to visit before going back. The photo was cute. They were in a garden and wearing nice outfits. Joe was on one knee mid-proposal, both men were crying. There was a second photo underneath the proposal photo, likely taken minutes later. Happy smiles, a blue flower in Nicky’s hair, a shining engagement ring on his finger. Joe wondered where the garden was. He wondered what this world’s Joe had said to Nicky when he asked for his hand. He wished he could do it all over again to see the look in his own Nicky’s eyes. 

Joe’s exploration of the apartment led him to a stack of letters he’d written Nicky during his deployment. He didn’t have time to read them all but he noticed they’d stopped nearly eight months ago, if the calendar on the wall was to be believed. Odd, but he didn’t think too much of it, at least not yet. He kept looking at the photos littering the apartment walls. Most were of him and his fiancé. There were a few framed drawings, photos of the whole family (Lykon included) at a Holiday party or on a video call. Photos of Booker, Joe, and Nile in their army uniforms. It seemed they had been in the same place, maybe even on the same team. 

Curiosity (as well as a growing awareness of aches and pains) led him next to the bathroom. A self-inspection revealed more scars than he’d ever have expected. Many were closed and healed, some were still covered with a bandage. Those ones were neatly done, likely in a hospital since the sutures were still in place. His back and sides were covered in lacerations. He had a scar on his cheek and his beard was shaved, likely by nurses again. His hair was much longer than army regulation, assuming that was the same in this world. Had he been captured? Tortured? There was an exhaustion in the man looking back at him from the mirror. He looked like a torture victim. The dog followed him around the apartment and though it wasn’t wearing a vest, Joe could see it was probably a service dog. 

He had to sit down after that. The combination of this body’s exhaustion and the stacked effect of the various discoveries caught up to Joe. He realized that his attempt to escape sleep was futile so he dragged himself back to bed, selfishly needing to curl up with Nicky before he left. His movements shook the mattress and woke his partner up yet again. Joe felt bad about that and kissed his cheek, nuzzling against him apologetically. Nicky simply turned around, curled closer, and fell back asleep with his head on Joe’s chest. Falling asleep this time was easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe it's time to go to bed, I thought. Then I read about the new comic sequels and thought maybe actually it's time for another 600 words of this. glad you all agree.


	8. Paris

“I’m telling you, An. He was awake earlier. I don’t know how but I know what I saw.”

“For his sake I hope not. With the state he’s in, it would have been excruciating. Growing things back takes fucking forever.” 

“Well. I didn’t say he looked like he was enjoying it. He passed out pretty quick but I’m not crazy. You’re the crazy one.”

“I know, love. I never said you were. Not that I don’t like a bit of crazy.” 

“You’re such a flirt. You’re lucky you’re cute and we’re alone.” 

“Mhm, I am lucky. I-hey, Quynh? Did he just move?” 

Yusuf heard the groan escape his lips before he realized it was him making the noise. His eyes fluttered open and immediately shut again. Shit, that hurt. A shadow crossed between him and whatever awful light source was causing that brightness and he tried opening his eyes again. Quynh’s face was staring back at him, curious and pleased. 

“He did. He’s up. See? I told you.” She whispered, her words directed at somebody over her shoulder. Andy appeared beside her moments later. 

“So he is. Hey sleepy. Took you long enough.” She grinned and Yusuf blinked hard, groaning again as he tried to sit up. Andy had to help him. His chest ached, his legs and feet ached, his head was pounding, though the pain was dulled. Yusuf realized that he was in the apartment he didn’t recognize. Brick walls, wooden floors. The sheets didn’t smell so fresh anymore but Yusuf realized that could be because he had sweat quite a lot since he last woke. His shirt was damp. 

“Nicky?” He asked, looking around for only a moment. It was hard to tear his gaze away from Quynh. 

“He’s still outside. He needs fresh air.” Quynh replied. “You can see him if you think your legs have grown back. They were in rough shape, pumpkin. We were worried. For a little bit it didn’t look like you’d been healing.” She admitted. Joe nodded quietly. He then reached an arm out and hugged Quynh. 

Joe’s eyes fell closed as he held her. God, he’d missed her. Every day he tried to remember her smile but the longer they were apart, the more the memory faded. To see her here, alive and well, was emotional. To his relief, Quynh held him back. She always had liked to cuddle. 

“Don’t thank me too soon, Joe-Joe. All I did was keep you from falling out of bed while you healed.” She teased, though her tone betrayed her relief that he was awake and, from the looks of his legs, healed. Joe simply nodded and closed his eyes, taking in the moment. To have Quynh in his arms again was something he never thought possible. 

“Is he up?” Came an unfamiliar honeyed voice from the doorway into the room. Quynh pulled back and Joe reluctantly let her go. The person in the door was incredibly handsome. Joe’s breath nearly caught in his throat as he stared at him. This man had been in the photos at the last apartment and in the sketchbook from the meadow. 

As he approached, all Joe could do was stare. Seeing Lykon in person was overwhelming. He’d heard so many stories and had always been sorry that he’d never met him. The man shot Joe an easy grin and pulled him into a bear hug. 

“That gas must’ve really done something to your head, hm? You look all glassy-eyed, Yusuf.” His warm voice joked. He pulled back and Joe smiled, crossing his arms in front of himself as he leaned against the back of the bed. 

“Just feels like it’s been a while.” He admitted. Apparently that had been the right thing to say because Lykon laughed, playfully ruffling Joe’s hair and shoving him. Joe smiled. He saw why Andy had relayed stories about him with such fondness and respect. Joe almost wished he’d never met Lykon because he knew how much he’d miss the man’s solid presence. Even two minutes in his presence was enough for Joe to know they’d have been very good friends. 

Joe tore himself away from the scene at hand and swung his legs off the bed. This time, they didn’t hurt, they weren’t covered in bandages. They were weak, though. Lykon put an arm around him to keep him standing when Joe wobbled. 

“Careful, you’ve been in bed nearly a week.” He warned. That was surprising. Maybe the Joe in this universe had a longer healing period after being injured. Joe had never been held up for longer than 24 hours before, and that had been the time he’d been drawn, quartered, and burned. That was not a pretty recovery. “Come on, I’ll take you out to Nico.” Lykon promised. 

Together, they made their way through the homey apartment. It was small. There were two beds, one had been occupied by Joe and Nicky, the other by Quynh and Andy. Booker and Lykon were on the floor in the kitchen. There was no sign of Nile but Joe guessed that this apartment was from the early 20th century so she likely had not yet been born in this world. 

Lykon lifted up the window beside the kitchen stove and nodded to Nicky, who was standing on the fire escape and smoking. Joe had forgotten they’d picked that habit up but seeing him with a cigarette again brought back a flood of memories, both fond and not so fond. He hated cigarette breath and quitting had been awful, but he remembered the moments they’d shared in Germany over a cigarette in the late hours of the day, sitting in an empty club. Joe smiled faintly as Nicky turned around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have so many pre-recorded lectures to watch you guys. anyways enjoy!


	9. Paris

Nicky was older than Joe had ever known him. He looked like he was in his mid-forties. There was a large scar that ran across his husband’s face down his neck and below his shirt. His left eye, the one the scar ran over, was white and unseeing. The smile he greeted Joe with was just as warm and comforting as he remembered, and when Nicky reached his arms out, it was just as easy to fall into them. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.” Nicky mumbled against Joe’s hair, kissing the top of his head. The way he said it led Joe to believe there was something unspoken that should be understood by them both. A reason Nicky couldn’t be there. 

“It’s alright, it was crowded enough.” Joe replied, chuckling. He leaned up and kissed Nicky’s jaw but Nicky immediately moved away.

“Somebody might see, what are you doing?” Came the worried reply. Scared eyes gazed around at the other buildings and Joe realized his infraction. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He mumbled in apology, standing back away from Nicky. He had almost forgotten how much he hated these days. Based on the clothing Joe assumed this was around the time of the First World War. Given what he remembered about his injuries and the talk of gas, it must have been shortly after Joe left the trenches for good. If his healing abilities really weren’t up to the same standard here then trench foot would have taken hold quickly. 

Nicky’s gaze softened and he offered Joe his cigarette. 

“It’s alright, I’m just shaken. Come back to me, Yusuf. Out of your head.” He teased. Joe smiled faintly and returned to the present, taking the cigarette. He took a long drag and the tension drained from his shoulders. He didn’t miss this, but the body he inhabited clearly needed the nicotine. 

Joe looked around as he blew out the smoke. He caught a first glimpse of himself in the window and coughed on the next drag, caught by surprise at the man looking back at him. Yusuf was old too. He had wrinkles around his eyes and laugh lines on his cheeks. His beard and curly hair were greying. He looked tired, he needed a shower and a proper sleep and more than a few good meals. Who was this man? 

“Amore mio, are you okay?” Nicky asked from behind him, gently putting a hand on Joe’s shoulder. His voice was so soft that Joe struggled to hear him, which he realized was because there were other apartments nearby with their windows open. The constant threat of being discovered to be gay hung over their heads seemed more present during the 20th century than other times, though perhaps it was just that those days were more recent and fresh in Joe’s memory. Joe reached up and squeezed Nicky’ wrist softly, turning away from the window. “I’m okay. Just hungry.” He replied as he passed the cigarette back to his husband. 

Nicky clearly didn’t believe him but he didn’t argue. Joe glanced back at his reflection and a feeling of unease settled in his stomach. It was odd for his reflection to be so different, but more than that, Joe was concerned that he was back here. He still didn’t know what was going on but he had hoped that he could simply ride it out and wake up again in his own body. Maybe his brain had been crushed by the rocks and these were weird death-throw hallucinations. But the fact that he returned to a place he’d been before made him feel like this was a loop. He didn’t like that thought. 

Joe turned away from the window as he felt rain begin to fall. “We should go back inside.” He suggested. Nicky nodded and led the way, supporting Joe as he entered the building on legs that were sturdier than before. Quynh had prepared them all dinner. With the blinds to the outside drawn, Nicky wrapped his arms properly around Joe. They shared a kiss that wasn’t quite right but still warmed Joe’s heart. 

Later that evening, Joe lay in bed awake. He wondered where he’d be when he woke up. He wondered what this world’s Joe would think when he woke, whether he’d remember any of this or whether this day would have happened at all. The possibilities were just as confusing as they were endless. Try as he might, Joe couldn’t stay awake to think of them all and the familiar pull of sleep drew him under once more.


	10. Russia

Joe’s stomach sank as he woke up in the hunting cabin again. This was a loop. He was sure of it now and he was terrified about what that meant. Was he dead? Was he in a coma? Was he dying? He hadn’t told his Nicky where he’d gone and the cave was too far from their safehouse for it to be easily found. Oh god, he wasn’t going to come back. Nicky was going to think he’d left. Or that he’d died. Joe began to panic as he sat upright, looking around. There had to be a way to fix this. There had to be a way to get out. What if he died again? What if he tried to find the cave again? Could he even find the cave again? 

“Yusuf.” 

Joe’s head snapped to the side as he heard Nicolas’ voice, stronger and more commanding than he was used to. A sturdy hand came to rest on his neck and before he knew what was happening, Joe was pulled into Nicky’s arms, face resting against his chest. The speed at which Nicolas took control of the situation was impressive and rather attractive. Before Joe’s panicking woke anybody up, Nicky had already managed to calm him down. Apparently he knew exactly which buttons to press in every Universe. 

“Come, Habibi. Let’s move away from everyone sleeping, we’ll talk over there.” Nicky whispered, nodding towards a space near the window where Nicolas had been sitting on watch with a loaded gun. He helped extricate Joe from the cuddle pile on the floor. Everyone was clothed this time and Booker looked better. If Joe’s memory was consistent with this timeline, they were laying low for a while because a massive storm had them snowed in and Booker needed time to rest and recover from his month and a half starving in the snowstorm. 

Together, they sat down near the window. Sure enough, they were snowed in. The snowbanks were nearly up to the window ledge and it was still snowing. The wind was howling and as cold as it clearly was outside, Joe felt warm as Nicky draped his large coat around his shoulders. It was odd, seeing him so protective. The only time Joe could remember him being so in control like this was long ago. 

Yusuf had been kidnapped many times, but one would always stand out. They had been near the coast of Spain at the end of the inquisition and had come across a small village where they’d decided to stay and rest for a few nights before continuing their travels. During the night, a fellow traveler had recognized them from work they had completed in his own village. He had been following them and discovered their immortality. During the night, he slaughtered Nicky and took Joe, riding away with him before Nicky could come back to life and chase them down. 

It took nearly eight months before they were reunited. The traveler fancied himself a scientist. He hid Yusuf deep underground in a cave lit only by a few candles. He tortured and experimented on him for months before finally, Nicky managed to track them down. Needless to say, Joe had been a mess. It had taken two years for him to fully recover and some days, he still had troubles being in the dark. But for those two years, Nicky had acted as Joe’s guardian. He’d kept him safe, kept him fed, loved and cared for him and asked for nothing in return. 

Joe was reminded of that time now. The way Nicolas acted towards him and the others was reminiscent both of Nicky after the cave and of Andromache. As he got his breathing under control and curled into his husband’s side, Joe glanced over at Booker and Andy. 

“You’re older than all of us, aren’t you?” He asked quietly. Nicolas was quiet for a moment as he considered the odd question. 

“Yusuf...is this about what happened the other night? About you not being from here?” 

“Yeah. I-well. I’m back again. I don’t really know what happened but after I was here, I went to a...a few other places and now I’m back” Joe replied quietly, staring out the window. “I don’t really know what’s happening, Nicky, I just...I don’t...I need to get back home. Back to my world.”

Nicolas nodded slightly, glancing out the window. He didn’t seem too happy and Joe couldn’t blame him. This was a lot to take in and there wasn’t much anybody could do. Besides, they had just learned that Booker was immortal and suddenly Joe was acting insane. To Nicolas’ credit, he took it all in stride. Joe got the sense that not much phased him. 

“I don’t think there’s anything we can do right now for you, Yusuf.” Nicolas replied. The starkness and directness of the statement caught Joe off guard. His Nicky was much softer. This Nicolas was much more direct. He wasn’t wrong, but it still hurt to hear it put so bluntly. Nicolas must have picked up on Joe’s hurt feelings because he sighed and reached out to squeeze his knee. 

“This is crazy, Yusuf. Really. But...I can tell you’re telling the truth. You’re not my Josef. I can tell by your eyes, the way you look at me. And I apologize for being...blunt. I can see this is upsetting you. And it’s upsetting me too. I don’t like that my Yusuf is somewhere else, somewhere I can’t see. Yesterday he was gone too and I was hoping…” Nicolas sighed, looking out the window. “I need him back. You need to go home. But we can’t leave this hut right now. So for now, you tell me about what you’ve experienced so far and we will try to brainstorm a way for you to get back to your world and for me to get my Josef back.” Nicolas finished.

The certainty with which Nicolas spoke was comforting, even if it was odd to hear such a commanding tone from him. Joe glanced back out the window, then mournfully looked back over at Andy and Booker. It looked like for now, he was here. A few moments were spent in an uncomfortable silence as Joe tried to let the fact that he was stuck settle in. 

“You could kill me, you know.” Joe suddenly suggested. “It might work. If I got here by dying then maybe if I died again I’d be sent back.” He posited, sitting up in his chair as he thought more about the idea. “It could work. I haven’t tried it but I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” Joe’s eyes lifted in a hopeful smile as he looked at Nicolas for approval. 

The Italian thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Alright.” He said, lifting his gun. Joe’s eyes widened in shock and he stared at Nicky incredulously before he saw his husband smirk and put the gun to the side. “I’m kidding. We’ll do it in the morning. Andy will have to do it, I could never do that to you, even though you’re not my Yusuf.” He promised. Joe laughed so loud he nearly woke Andy and Booker. 

The rest of the early morning was spent chatting. Joe told Nicolas about his world. About how they’d first met, about how Andy was the oldest. He told him about the cave and the other worlds he’d been in. In return, Nicolas told Joe about this timeline. About how he’d been born in what would eventually become Genoa millennia ago to a group a of hunter gatherers. He’d died fighting with another tribe and after realizing his immortality, wandered the world until he found Lykon and Quynh and eventually came to get Joe in Jerusalem. Andy was the newest, until Booker. She’d been born in northern Siberia in the mid 16th century and was still struggling with her immortality. She and Quynh had immediately become very close, falling in love after only a few decades together. Quynh’s capture and subsequent loss still rocked the group to their core. They planned to continue the search after escaping Russia. 

Joe was fascinated by Nicolas’ stories. He wanted to hear more but the sun began to rise and Booker and Andy awoke. Sebastien said very little to anybody. His only goal was to return to his family and after Nicolas had explained to him that it wasn’t an option, he’d become upset and bitter very quickly. Andy was warmer. She greeted Joe and Nicolas. When they asked her to help them by snapping Joe’s neck (they couldn’t afford to waste bullets), she obliged despite her confusion and concern.


	11. The Meadow

It didn’t work. 

Joe woke up feeling hopeful. He shot up in bed and looked around, only to realize he was in the meadow again. It had changed a bit but was clearly the same place. The walls were higher, a few more trees had been cut down, Joe guessed that it had been a few days since he’d last been here but it was confusing to think about time so he stopped that train of thought. Joe instead unzipped the sleeping bag and stood up. Curiosity got the better of him and he went to the sketchbook and journal which were still safely tucked into the backpack. 

Joe’s drawings were still there, which proved to him that this was a real place. Or at least that it was the same figment of his imagination that he’d been in last time. Joe flipped the page and saw a new drawing too. There was a large portrait of Lykon on one half of the page, mirrored by an equally large portrait of Quynh on the other half. Joe’s fingers brushed along the steady lines as he took in the features of the people he missed, the people he wished he could draw as well as this world’s Joe seemed to be able. Even though he had seen them in the flesh in two of his visits, it was still nice to see them reflected so clearly on the page. 

Joe then turned to the journal. He opened up the book and found his message. There were two entries written on the subsequent pages. 

\----------------------

May 22, 2134

It is very possible that I am going crazy. It wouldn’t be a surprise. For two months after he died I stopped eating and sleeping, I would hear him in my head and see him sometimes in the dark. I spoke with him and Andy thought I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. Maybe I am again because I didn’t write that but something feels different this time. So if you come back, Joe, if you’re me from another timeline or another world, then...hello. I can’t think of anything else to say. I haven’t been able to express myself properly since his death. Anyways. Early bedtime tonight, I’m tired.

May 27, 2134

Joe still hasn’t come back so maybe I was going crazy. It doesn’t matter, I decided. I felled a few more trees and spent a few days making lumber from them, then I went to trek into town to get some more supplies. It’s faster to toss yourself off the cliff edge so I did that instead of hiking down. He would have disapproved, not that it matters either. Town was nice, there was a festival going on, I bought a piece of rope art from a woman’s booth at the market instead of the vegetable seeds I was going to get. I haven’t been hungry lately anyways and it’s nicer to look at pretty things. 

I still can’t stop thinking about the “visitor”. If you’re reading this, my jealousy of your world and a jealous hatred of you personally fuelled me to construct the walls here faster. I suppose that’s something good that came out of your message. So if you do come back, I hope you read this and understand two things. One: When you lose him, you’ll think that life isn’t worth living anymore and you’ll be right but it won’t matter because no matter how hard you try, life will keep happening to you. And if you give up, he’d be disappointed. So you’ll wallow in that self-pity and guilty and jealousy and then you won’t be able to anymore because you won’t be able to stop thinking about how upset he’d be that you’re throwing your gift away. So hold onto that feeling and do something. Two: If you find your way back to him, to your him, don’t you dare let him go. And don’t believe him when he tells you he’s fine. Don’t let him split up from the group in South Dakota. Don’t let him convince you that he’s fine after it took him too long to get up after being shot in the leg and don’t listen to him when he argues with you about abandoning the job just in case. Just. Stay home. 

\-----------------------

Joe lowered the journal as a sinking feeling began to form. So far, he had seen universes with variations on them but they had stuck consistently to the same general timeline. There was no one main difference to point to but it struck Joe that this was the only timeline he’d seen that took place in the future. And in this future, it had been years since Nicky had died. What if they only had a few years left together? The real possibility that one of them would lose immortality before the other had always hung over their relationship but never had it affected them so directly as in this universe, where Joe was watching what became of him after Nicky’s death. The possibility struck him like a truck on the highway and moved towards the bag with the intention of putting the journal down. 

That was when he felt his chest tightening. The edges of his vision began to blur and he felt a rising sense of panic overtake him. Joe clumsily put the journal on the stump-chair nearby and fell to his knees. His breathing came in short bursts as he frantically looked around. A muddied voice came from seemingly out of nowhere, hardly intelligible. 

“-suf? Cuore mio please, destati, wake up.” Nicky, Joe’s mind supplied as a searing pain tore through his chest. 

“Move his head, put this under it. Nicky, what is he saying?” Nile, the strength and calmness in her voice would have impressed Joe if he’d been in his right mind. He heard another unfamiliar voice and the pain worsened and spread up his neck and to his head. Joe’s hands shot up to cover his ears as he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. 

“I can’t understand him, he’s not speaking loud enough. I...Yusuf, Joe, wake up. Tell me what’s wrong, open your eyes. Yusuf!” Nicky was shouting now. He kept repeating himself, begging Joe to speak or to open his eyes or to wake up, the words were in Ligurian, an ancient dialect only the two of them shared. Joe wanted to respond, wanted to tell him that he was scared, that he didn’t know what was happening, but he couldn’t move. The words drifted in and out and a bright light flashed in his eyes before darkness overtook him once more.


	12. London

When Joe next woke up, he was in a panic. He struggled with the sheets around him and flailed, looking around for his husband, for Nile, for anything familiar that could help ground him. He saw Nicky a moment later but quickly realized that this was also not his Nicky. He was back in the apartment, back to the mortal Joe with one leg and a dog and a cat and he was still not at home. And his time on Earth with his husband was limited and he needed to get back to Nicky before something bad happened but he couldn’t because he was stuck here and-

“It’s okay, honey. Breathe, Tesoro. In and out.” came not-Nicky’s voice. Joe shook his head and fought to get out of bed, pushing not-Nicky back. He fell to the floor and scrambled across the fake hardwood, finding a corner. He scared the cat in the process and she hissed at him unhappily before retreating. Joe couldn’t have cared less. His chest heaved and his breathing constricted. His hands found his hair and Joe tugged. The panic was overwhelming, the terror he felt that he was stuck here was all-encompassing and the extreme pain he’d been in not moments before was gone but the memory of it remained, somehow. 

Not-Nicky moved out of bed and grabbed the phone, turned the light on, and stepped out of the room. An instant later, the dog was sitting next to him. Without thinking, Joe’s hands move from his own hair to the dog’s fur. As Joe’s panic began to subside, he heard the man talking to somebody in a hushed voice. He could see him peering through the doorway. 

“I don’t know what caused it, a nightmare I think?....No. He took them before bed. I-no...Not this bad in a while...Yeah, the dog’s there with him now...yeah, he seems a bit better...okay. Alright, I’ll try, yeah. Thank you.” Nicky murmured into the phone before walking over with a concerned look, holding out the phone. 

“Joe, it’s your counsellor. If you want to talk to her you can.” The other man said, as if this was something that happened often. Joe shook his head, looking back down at the floor. He didn’t know what to think. The conflicting emotions were confusing. His chest hurt, his head hurt, he didn’t know what was going on. 

A shuffling noise came from the living room. Joe looked back up and saw Booker, though he looked a bit different. A little younger, less tired somehow. Booker came and knelt down in front of Joe, reaching a hand out. “Hey, we’re back, yeah? You’re with Nick. We’re in London.” His tone was steady. Joe found it comforting even though he knew Booker didn’t understand what was going on. He managed a small smile and a deep breath. Joe’s world was spinning but for now he was here. Maybe the episode he’d had in the meadow meant he was getting closer to his own timeline. Patience, he heard his Nicky’s voice in his head. 

Booker reached an arm out and Joe accepted his help to stand. Together, they made their way towards the living room. Booker had been staying on their couch. He moved the blankets and pillows aside and helped Joe onto the couch. Nicky followed them, holding Joe’s crutches. Booker turned on the tv. Joe realized the game was one that was supposed to play a few nights after he’d gone exploring the cave. 

The next two hours were quiet. Joe couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He couldn’t explain why he’d panicked and he didn’t know what else he could do. It was only after Spain won the football match that he made his decision. If he was right, then the next time he woke up he’d be in the apartment with older Niclo in what he was now certain was Paris shortly after world war one. The cave he’d explored was a day’s drive. He’d go with older Nicolo so they’d know where that world’s Joe had gone and he’d try to find a way back. 

Once he had his plan in place, it was much easier to keep himself calm. Nicky rubbing his back certainly helped too. Joe was about to suggest he had a nap when Booker started to talk about his family. 

They were alive, first of all. Sebastien’s wife, Jeanne, lived nearby with Booker’s three sons and twin daughters. After he returned from the hospital, he moved home but his PTSD caused him to have night terrors and he had begun to scare the kids at night. During the day, there were lots of things to do around the house and no time to nap. So twice a week, he came to stay with them so he could get a bit of rest. Jeanne was very thankful to Nicky and Joe for letting him stay, apparently, since she had practically filled their apartment with flowers and drawings from the children. Apparently Joe and Nicky also babysat the children two afternoons a week so Jeanne and Booker could have some time together. Joe’s heart swelled with the knowledge that in at least one world, Booker had made it home to his family and would have a happy life with them. Or so he liked to imagine, anyways. 

The life that this world’s Joe led was beautiful and full and happy. Short, but fulfilling. His heart yearned for such a life and he hoped that one day, he could have it. In Joe’s ideal world, he and Nicky lost their immortality at the same time in a non-lethal way. They retired, they adopted a child or two, bought a home, and grew old together. The odds of that happening were miniscule but he liked to think about that being their end. 

Not-Nicky noticed when his eyes got misty. He asked if Joe was alright and he couldn’t truthfully say yes, so he just said he was tired. That gave him a plausible excuse to close his eyes and fall asleep.


	13. Paris

Joe woke to the feeling of Nicky’s lips on his jaw. He wished he could revel in the moment but it was clear to him that this wasn’t his Nicky. Joe opened his eyes and sure enough, saw older Nicolo’s eyes staring back at him. There were wrinkles on the edges and though there was a familiar mischievous glint in them, Joe couldn’t bring himself to allow the moment to continue. Yusuf smiled sadly and moved aside, a hand on his chest. 

“I need you to do something with me and I’m sorry that I can’t answer many questions about it but I promise to explain as much as I can after we leave.” Joe said before Nicky could continue. His husband frowned in confusion but nodded, sitting up. “Anything, now that you’re home you can have anything you want.” Nicolo replied sincerely. 

An hour later, Joe and Nicky were walking through the streets together. Once they were away from the others, Joe took a deep breath. 

“I have something to tell you.” Joe began. As they walked, he explained what had been happening as best he could. Just as the Nicolas in the Booker reality, this Nicky listened quietly as Joe spoke. He interjected a few times to ask questions, which the other Nicky hadn’t done, but mostly he was quiet. When Joe finished, he was silent for another moment. 

“We can try the cave. And if that doesn’t work...we will keep you awake and try to figure out how to get you home.” He said simply. Joe raised an eyebrow but nodded, smiling faintly to himself. He could count on Nicky. He watched with interest as his not-husband jimmied into a car and together, they took off towards the cave. Unlikely as it was that they would actually find it, Joe was glad they were trying. 

As they drove, Joe’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“So...in my world, we’re younger. We met in the Crusades, in Jerusalem. But here…” Joe trailed off as Nicky chuckled, shaking his head. 

“I was supposed to be in Jerusalem.” He replied. “There was a battle on the way here. I faced a choice. I could go with the rest of the army to Jerusalem or I could stay and help the soldiers hold the town we had taken. I chose to stay and in a battle a day later, I got this scar.” Nicky explained. “I survived and returned to Genoa. You survived and left Jerusalem to become a merchant when you heard your father had died. You...well. My Yusuf. He had a family. I re-joined the church. We had lives. Then...my Yusuf came to Genoa. He sold me spices and I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him.” He sighed, smiling fondly at the memory. 

“Our first deaths came the next day. Bandits attacked the local marketplace. I distracted them so a family could escape and Yusuf noticed that there was somebody behind me. He dove towards me but they got to me first. I was stabbed through the stomach. They shot him with an arrow moments later. He died on top of me and the bandits moved on towards the village nearby. We woke up shortly after and that was the day we first fought together. We’ve been together ever since.” 

The fond look in Nicky’s eyes was unparalleled. Joe had never known with more certainty that they were meant to be together. Their immortality had begun when they met in both universes. Their lives were so closely entwined that in every timeline he had visited, they were together (or had been, though he’d prefer not to think about that timeline much. Their love was a constant. No force in the world could tear them apart. 

“I hope this works.” Joe sighed, glancing out the window. He needed to go home. He needed to bring this world’s Yusuf back here, where he belonged. Joe wondered idly if any of these world’s Joes were visiting his body. Before he could think too much more of it, he heard a voice. 

A little known fact about Nicolo was that he had a beautiful singing voice. Joe sang well too, but when Nicky really put his heart into a piece, the music absolutely shone. He had a natural tenor but his baritone was just as lovely, even though it came a little harder to him. For a few years, Nicky had trained as a singer by a now long-forgotten master in northern Spain. Joe had spent the years practicing his art and learning new techniques, every day basking in the beautiful melodies his husband would practice. A million years could pass and Joe would never forget the sound of Nicky’s singing. 

He recognized it instantly. It was faint at first. Joe thought he was imagining it. He frowned, glancing at this world’s Nicky to see if he was singing, but he wasn’t. Then, suddenly, the pain in his abdomen returned and the voice’s volume shot up. Gasping in pain, Yusuf’s hands clapped over his ears and he doubled over. His body slammed into the side of the car as Nicky swerved and pulled to the side of the road. Joe’s vision began to narrow again. 

The singing paused. 

“Yusuf? Yusuf, are you awake? Can you hear me?” Joe swore he felt a hand on his cheek but the pain was so overwhelming that he couldn’t be sure of anything. He felt dizzy and his head felt like it was being ripped in two. Joe didn’t realize he was screaming until he ran out of breath and had to take in a deep gasp for air. The voice continued pleading with him. The desperation and anguish only grew. “Please. Please, Yusuf, come back to me. I’m here, you’re going to be okay, please, just...please wake up. Please.” The voice broke on the last word. 

Joe expected to pass out. The pain quickly faded and he thought he’d open his eyes and be somewhere else. The ground beneath him was hard and there were hands on him, somebody else was speaking but this time the voice was clearly not from inside his head. Joe opened his eyes and saw the older Nicky. He was still in this timeline. The car was on the side of the road and Nicolo had pulled Joe from it and lay him on the ground. 

“Did you hear anything?” Nicolo asked, putting together that this must have been an episode similar to the one in the meadow Joe had spoken of. Yusuf nodded and tried to explain what he’d heard, though it was harder than anticipated and he stammered his way through it. 

“Do you think it could be your world?” Nicky asked after a moment. “Maybe it’s...seeping through to...to here somehow? Maybe you’re a link.” He suggested weakly. It sounded insane but none of this made sense. 

“It’s as good a lead as any.” Joe replied, rubbing his head. It didn’t hurt but it felt like it should. He felt wobbly. Nicky helped him into the car once more. There was nothing more to say. Neither of them knew anything and could only speculate. Joe noticed that Nicky sped faster than normal as he drove to the small village.


	14. The Cave

They arrived at the cave shortly after Joe’s episode. Thankfully the main road hadn’t changed much and when Joe noticed the waterfall nearby, it was only a quick walk to the location. It was far easier to find than it should have been, but instead of letting that worry him, Joe chose to take it as a good sign. The Universe wanted him home and this was going to work. 

As the pair stood in front of the unassuming cave, Joe frowned. Something felt off. He looked around and a strong sense of deja-vu struck him. The dream, the one that had led him here, had taken a perspective from this exact point. Joe had been looking at the cave just like he was now. He had taken a step forward and then...a woman’s voice. How could he not have recognized it? 

“Hello Yusuf.” 

Quynh was standing behind them, hands in her pockets. She wore a pair of trousers with suspenders and a button up shirt. Her hair was up in a braided bun and she looked the picture of calm despite the absolute confusion that Nicky and Joe both felt. Both men’s jaws were on the floor as they stared at her. Quynh couldn’t help but grin. 

“About time you got here.” Quynh commented, walking up to the pair and taking their arms in hers. “And close your mouths. We aren’t codfish, darlings.” She smirked and nudged their shoulders fondly. “Yusuf, how many episodes have you had? How many places have you visited?” Joe couldn’t answer. He was too busy staring at Quynh like she had sprouted an extra head. 

Quynh sighed and patted his shoulder. “It happened to me too, a long time ago.” She explained, guiding them to sit on a nearby fallen log with her. “I found four other worlds besides this one. I think I found yours too, if I’m right about you.” She said with a smile, tapping his nose. She turned to Nicky then. “And don’t you worry, our Yusuf’s going to be okay. I was, after all.” She grinned. Nicky mutely nodded, unable to say anything. 

“How do I get home?” Joe croaked. 

“Patience, darling. You’ll see.” Quynh promised. “In your world, I’m underwater, right? And you and Nicky, you’re both so young.” She asked, her tone changing to take on a more sombre note, though she nearly cooed when she mentioned their age. Joe nodded meekly. “Well. No spoilers, dear, but hold out hope for me. And as for the other worlds I visited...there was one where I never met my An until the witch hunt. I saved her from burning only to watch as the church snapped her neck anyways. SHe hanged and died for the first time, and when she woke up, they separated us. Buried me underground for a very long time.” She sighed. “In that world, Nico is the oldest.” And after you meet Booker, he helps you locate me.” 

“In another world, none of us are immortal. You and a new one I haven’t met yet and Booker are all in the army in what I assume is the future. And you three get captured together, held as POWs. When you’re rescued, they have to amputate your leg. Booker doesn’t sleep. Nile handles it better than both of you, she goes to therapy, she moves in with Andromache and I and starts working at the museum that my Andy curates. We’re all still family even though we don’t fight together.” She recalled fondly. Joe balked at the new details from the mortal world. He hadn’t realized that things had been that bad. Quynh continued on as if he hadn’t reacted. 

“Then there’s the world where poor Nicolo died. That’s in the future too, I think. You left us all so I don’t know what happened to you there until you came back. I only saw you for a moment. But I know that we all carried on. Andy and I started a little farm, it was cute. And you were gone for a long time but you came to visit us when a newbie showed up way into the future.” She smiled fondly at the memory. That had been her favourite world, besides the one she belonged to. Nicolo seemed rather perturbed by the idea that he died and Yusuf hadn’t, but he said nothing. 

As Quynh finished recounting the worlds she’d visited, there was a shake under their feet. Joe frowned as Quynh smiled and stood up, holding her hand out to him. 

“It’ll be okay.” She promised fondly. “Just promise you make my An stop drinking. When I get out of that ocean, I’m going to be mad if she’s drunk.” She teased, though Joe could tell she was only half-joking. The Earth trembled beneath them again and Nicky stood up from the log. 

“Quynh, what’s happening?” He finally managed. She looked over at Nicky, though she kept holding Joe’s hand. 

“Honestly? I’m not sure.” She replied unsatisfactorily. “I just know that in a minute, we’re going to have our Yusuf back and he’s going to have a very interesting story to tell, I’m sure.” She grinned. Quynh looked back at Joe and gently put a hand on his chest. “It was nice meeting you, Joe.” She said softly. His eyes travelled to Nicky and Joe opened his mouth to say something when the Earth trembled again, stronger this time, and Quynh pushed him. Joe stumbled and fell backwards into the mouth of the cave just as the stones shook loose from the entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have mixed feelings about this? I do too. Honestly, this is what came out so this is what I'm going with but if I think of a better ending maybe I'll publish that as an alternate later.


	15. Home

Joe didn’t open his eyes this time. 

He felt like he was floating. He felt like his body was being supported by a cloud. An angel was singing a quiet song, the volume was much better than during the last episode. Joe recognized the song this time, it was an old one. They’d learned it during their time in the desert shortly after beginning their travels and the verses were mostly nonsense but they were comforting all the same. It was a silly story about a boy who got lost and found his way home using his dreams. Joe couldn’t help but smile to himself at the parallel between their song and his current situation. 

The music stopped when he smiled. Joe felt a hand on his cheek and another on his chest. He frowned, the fuzzy feeling in his head getting stronger. He opened his mouth to tell the singer to keep going but nothing came out but a high-pitched whine. 

The person gasped. He heard a voice but the words didn’t seem to make any sense. Joe mumbled Nicky’s name as best he could and tried to open his eyes, finally. Doing so proved far more difficult than he’d imagined. 

The person was speaking again. It became clear that this was Nicky, not that he should have expected anything else. His strong hands brushed through Yusuf’s curls. His steady voice vibrated through his chest. He felt warmth at his side and knew he was resting partially in his husband’s lap. As the seconds passed, Joe felt more present. He was laying on something solid but soft, he wasn’t in any pain but his body was sore, it felt like he’d just recovered from a massive injury.

Joe finally managed to open his eyes. The singer had been Nicky. Joe searched his face frantically for a moment before relaxing as the realization that this was his Nicky dawned on him. His eyes were just right. He was the right age. His gentle smile and reassuring kiss to the forehead were exactly how Joe remembered. 

“There you are.” Nicky whispered. Joe began to cry. He hadn’t meant to but it was hard to stop himself. Over the past...however long it had been, he had been through so much. Joe was exhausted and overwhelmed and so relieved to be home that the emotions simply couldn’t be held back anymore. Not when Nicky was lifting him up and cradling him so lovingly, not when he was whispering comforting words into Joe’s ear. 

The thought that he might not be home only occurred to him when Nicky asked how he was feeling. Joe forced himself to properly sit up and look around. This was their safe house. Andy and Nile were sitting at the table playing cards nearby and pretending not to be listening in. Joe looked around frantically. 

“Booker and Quynh and Lykon.” Joe stammered, his eyes flooding with worry. Nicky’s pained expression and worried glance towards Andy, who had stopped pretending not to be listening and was staring straight at them, told Joe all he needed to know. 

Nicky’s hand rested on Joe’s back. A silent question hung in the air. Where had Joe gone? What had happened? The story Joe proceeded to recount to them all was unbelievable to everyone except for Andy. 

“It only happens once, as far as I know.” She said matter-of-factly. Joe raised an eyebrow and looked over at her. She smirked and looked down before continuing. “I don’t know what causes it but it happened to Lykon. It happened to me and I know it happens to Quynh one day too. We pass over to other...parallel worlds, she called it. We see what life could have been like in another time, if we’d made other choices, if things had happened differently. Lykon said it was to help us appreciate the lives we had. Quynh said it was because we needed to get the sense knocked back into us. I think it’s a fluke. But it happens no matter what.” She shrugged and leaned back, putting a foot up against the side of the table as she played with her knife. 

Joe was speechless. 

“You didn’t think to warn us that one day we’d be trapped in a loop of parallel universes?” He asked, incredulous. Andy simply chuckled. 

“Even if you believed me, there’s nothing I can do to help. We all find our way back somehow, and for all of us it’s different. For Lykon, it was a waterfall. For you, a cave. For me, a pit. And Quynh wouldn’t tell me what hers was. And it’s always one of our voices in the dream and the trips end after two cycles. So as long as I could keep Nicky here from panicking about you while you were gone, that was all I could do.” She shrugged. 

Andy may have had a point but Joe still clearly thought they should have known it would happen one day. That said, Andy often withheld crucial information. She hadn’t told Booker about Quynh for nearly six months after they’d found him. She hadn’t told Booker or Nile about her immortality being gone until it couldn’t be hidden anymore. That was just how she was. 

Surprisingly, it was Nicky who snapped. 

“Non posso crederti. Non posso credere che l'hai lasciato andare, non mi hai detto cosa stava succedendo? Come hai potuto vederlo accadere e sapere bene dov'era e non dirmelo? Per giorni sono stato qui con lui, Andromaca. Giorni! Hai guardato! L'hai sentito e l'hai visto e …e...” The words spilled out of his mouth at a furious pace. His hands flew as his incredulity and fury came pouring out of him. As he trailed off, he huffed and his shoulders fell, deflated. Joe was stunned. Nile’s jaw fell open and Andy stared at Nicky with quiet respect. His anger was directed at her but was certainly a by-product of the stressful two days he’d had. Nicky hadn’t slept a wink since they’d found Joe and when he was stressed and tired, his rare temper flared.

The silence was deafening and the tension built until Andy replied with a shrug. 

“I told you he’d be okay and he was.”   
“-Aargh!” Nicky growled in exasperation and threw his hands into the air. He stood up and stormed out of the room, but stomped back in a moment later. 

“You go. I am staying with my husband.” He ordered. Andy rolled her eyes fondly but stood from the table and walked out the door. Joe reached an arm up to pull Nicky closer. 

“What was that?” He asked quietly, eyes sparkling with worry as he watched Nicky pace around the room before he returned to the bed and joined him again. Nicky held him tightly, huffing to himself. 

“When you didn’t come back from your walk, I panicked. Nile was able to track your phone and we found you unconscious on the ground at the mouth of a cave.” He explained. “The cave had not collapsed. I carried you back and you were talking to yourself but making no sense. You would say our names and you would mumble nonsense. Sometimes it looked like you were in pain and you would cry or you...you would move around and your lips went blue and you’d stop breathing.” Nicky mumbled, his fury gone and replaced with worry. He held Joe tighter. 

“I heard you singing.” Joe replied fondly, reaching a hand up to cradle Nicky’s cheek. “And in every world I visited I was always with you. Even when you were...gone, you were there. I could feel you in the way the breeze moved and in every breath. And whenever I woke up next, you were always the first thing I thought about. The first thing I saw.” He crooned, slowly pressing a kiss to Nicky’s jaw. “I am so lucky to have you.” He whispered. 

Joe could practically hear Nile rolling her eyes at them. With the way Nicky was looking at him, he knew she’d want to leave. 

“You should go try to find Andy and make sure Nicky didn’t upset her.” Joe called to their youngest family member. Nile laughed and stood from the table. 

“Just put a sock on the door and when you’re done, text to let us know.” She replied, gently ruffling Joe’s hair as she passed them to get to the door. Joe shook his head, he couldn’t understand half of the references she seemed to make but they amused him anyways. Once Nile had left the room though, the thought was out of his mind and all he could think about was his husband. He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! This was literally almost half the wordcount from my undergrad thesis and I wrote it in like a week so i'm going to try to transfer this energy to my school stuff now.
> 
> Translation of the Italian outburst courtesy of Google: “I can't believe you. I can't believe you let him leave, you didn't tell me what was happening? How could you watch that happen and know full well where he was and not tell me? For days I sat here with him, Andromache. Days! You watched! You heard him and you saw him and...and…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments! I always appreciate them :) Thank you for reading!


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